Changes, and the challenges change brings, can mean doing something "new" for holiday dinners.  I remember the first Christmas my son and I shared after the divorce.  He was a senior in high school and wanted to try something "different."  Instead of the "tradition" of our family dinner, before going to the big family dinner, he and I went and worked (helped?) at the community dinner.  We helped with several things including serving, then eating and cleaning up.  It was a "new" tradition we followed for quite a number of years.

I continued the tradition even after he was married, living in a different state with no way for our family to be together.  I often did Thanksgiving Community Dinners because getting "home" for one day, or meal, wasn't happening because of distance, schedule, ministerial needs.  It was a way to be with others, celebrate the holiday and give thanks for blessings.

So......  What are you doing for Thanksgiving?  Can you help with a "community" dinner?  Can you invite others to your table?  Instead of the crying, this time, maybe sharing works.......  Who knows - maybe it will even bring laughter!

How do you remember eating Thanksgiving dinner?  Do you remember the "kids" table with the adults in a different room?  Do you remember everyone at one table?  The Thanksgiving I mentioned yesterday, when we were in college, we set the food on our table (and some on the counter) serving it buffet style.  Everyone sat wherever they could - we were younger then! - including some on the floor.

Or the Thanksgiving our son was a newborn.  The whole family had gathered at the new "great-grandparents" for Thanksgiving.  The table was setup in the living room with an "extra" table added to make enough room for everyone to sit down.  Great-grandpa was at one end (away from the kitchen door where great-grandma was) and the newest (great-grandson) was in what is now called "his bucket" on the TV at the other end.  I don't even remember how many people sat down for that dinner but we all enjoyed the food and fellowship.

So....... are you inviting others to dinner?  Have you figured out the tables?  Buffet style? "Sit down" to eat? Tables in different rooms?  All at one table? Somehow no matter which way it is done it all works!  The importance is to remember to thank God for the food and fellowship. 

Think back, for just a moment, about past Thanksgiving dinners.  How far back can you remember?  Who was at the dinner?  Was it "only" family?  Was it a wide variety of people some of whom you don't remember let alone see anymore?

One of the earliest I remember is the first one my then husband and I couldn't get "home" for.  He had been given a turkey where he was working.  We invited our Bible study group to our apartment (we were in college) with everyone bringing something.  It was pretty much an "all afternoon" meal but it was fun and we were with friends - all of whom were not able to "go home" for Thanksgiving either.  The part I still laugh about was having to call my Mom and ask "which end of the turkey do I stuff?"  (Remember I didn't know much then [or now!] about cooking!)  When she stopped laughing she said "both ends, dear, both ends."

This started the tradition of not being "alone" for Thanksgiving (or other holidays) for me.  I always check to see if someone will be by themselves.  I always ask if they would like to be with others.  I understand completely when someone wants to be alone.  I also enjoy including those who want company.  What are your Thanksgiving dinner memories?  Are you at least smiling (both ends!) if not laughing?  Can you think of somone to check to see if they would like to share your Thanksgiving dinner?

Hurry up...then answer questions...then wait.  Depending on what the appointment is for you may have more questions to answer and more waiting.  Sometimes you get moved from one person asking questions to the next person to another person.  Sometimes you also get moved from one room to the next.

One of the times Dad was scheduled for "one day" surgery we had to arrive for "check in" at about 6 am.  This meant we left the house at 5 and drove for an hour.  As we got to the first check in Dad was asked for name, birthday and some other questions.  He answered with his name, his date of birth and 6:05 am.  We get to the next person who is again asking for name, birthday and other questions.  Dad again answered with his name, birthday and 6:15 am.  I admit it took me to the third time before I caught what he was doing.  Every time they asked for his name and birthday he answered with the name, date and the time on the clock over the person's head.  By the time he was headed for the procedure he had been born at 6:05, 6:15, 6:45 and 8:05.

Like I have said before....sometimes you have to laugh or you will start screaming.  It also gives wonderful memories when checking in for appointments!

Special holidays, with special music, can bring even more special memories.  Some of the memories bring quiet tears.  Some bring great laughter.  Some are a combination of both.  I love history so remembering special historic events means a lot to me.  Like the 11th hour on the 11th day of the 11th month -- a day of VERY important events that should be remembered and honored.

The music memories come from the various specials programs happening on, and around, these special days.  I love the medley of all the "military" hymns.  I especially love when the leader asks those who have served to stand as "their hymn is played."  It is awesome to watch as all those who are able stand do. Usually even the ones who are not able to stand salute - or at least sit up straighter.

Both my uncles, and Dad, served during WW II.  Dad, and his brother, were in the Army Air Corp which became the Air Force.  Mother's brother served in the Pacific in the Navy.  I was blessed to be able to be with Dad at some of the special programs.  Towards the end he needed help to stand, and he leaned on his walker, but he still stood.  Sometimes it's "just" a smile for a happy memory.......

Today is an interesting day.  A day to remember all of the loved ones who have "gone before us" to be with God.  I have seen several special posts to remind us.  I know that several churches are having special services.  I also know that quite a few churches will be celebrating "All Saints" on Sunday.  A wonderful way of celebrating the "Communion of the Saints" by recognizing we will be seeing our loved ones again.

One of the posts I saw was about remembering our loved ones.  I was Dad's primary care giver.  Mentally Dad was "with it" right up until lunch the day he died (eleven years ago yesterday).  He was still giving the nurses a hard time, AND doing ministry, right up until lunch.  I can look back, now, and be very thankful I could fulfill his last request to NOT be alone - I was able to sit beside him.

There are a lot of things I remember, and laugh about, now.  Like offering to share him with others - I even offered "The Ransom of Red Chief" in that I would "pay" someone to keep him.  I remember he used to make comments, to get to me, whenever he wanted to - yes, even in the middle of my sermon.  I remember being able to "get him back."  I remember the love even as I remind people you have to laugh or you will start screaming.  Something to think about......... 

So many changes happening - to the fall season, cooler (sometimes), leaves and the new schedule from the changes this summer.  Then there are the changes because of learning new things - some of which require counting.  Ya'll know I struggle with numbers and can get some interesting results when counting is required.  Sometimes this causes difficulty as I am trying to learn something new.

I learned in a hurry NOT to try to count stitches, in a knit or crochet pattern, while Dad was sitting near me.  He would "help" with the counting - 4, 17, 26, 3 - whatever was different from what I was saying.  I must confess.....  I haven't had this problem since he died.  I have been living by myself and could count until I understood the pattern or the new concept.

This recent change, retirement and move, have brought me back to others around me.  Now as we sit and watch TV, in the evenings, I have two sisters to "help" me - especially when I am counting!  Last night, trying to keep track of 45 stitches, I am carefully counting.  I hear "1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3" when I am now to the knit two together.  Then I hear "17, 18, 25" from the other sister.  When I got to the end of the row (which I had to correct after the "help" counting!)  I looked at them both and went "thanks, Dad!"  Like I have said.....  you have to laugh or you will start screaming!!  

I am sure you have heard, the same as I have, the only person who "likes change is a wet baby."  At the same time we ALL have changes happening in our lives even if it is only the seasons of the year.  Here, where I am, we are slowly moving into Fall from a very hot summer so we are happy for the change.  At the same time, as you have seen, has been the move - change of address - into a shared living space.  Add in the changes God is calling me to and it can get to be very interesting!

Another "interesting" part are the changes God is calling to/for in reaching out to Caregivers.  Some of the changes have been with the website.  Some of the changes I have already made -- updating to include more Caregivers and about the move/retirement.  Some of the changes I am still working on -- trying to reach out to more people via technology.  Reaching out is requiring learning some "new" technology AND making sure to have the time to do it - BOTH of which are causing some difficulty!

As we progress forward through whatever changes God is calling us to laughter is still helpful!  It can be the clock "running out" as we remember we were "going to do that!  OR it can be trying to learn something new.  What ever is causing the issue we can still, at least try, to laugh - because it IS still better to laugh or you will start screaming!

"Moving is fun, moving is fun....." is something we say kind of like "no one likes change except a wet baby."  We say it.  We may even mean it.  We go through the changes needed and do the packing of said boxes.  We even sort - into recycle, reuse, get rid of and keep piles - and boxes.  If we are VERY lucky we have family and friends to help us move said boxes to the new location.

As ministers Dad and I moved several times.  I moved even more times as a child growing up in a minister's home - but who is counting!  All of us are pretty good at getting things into the boxes.  We do okay with getting things OUT of the boxes - most of the time.  Dad was VERY good at sitting in a chair, usually reading, and ignoring all the activites going on around him.  He just wanted to know where we had put his things when the boxes were unpacked.....

This last move (prayerfully the LAST move) has been without Dad - like the previous two - and there are a LOT fewer boxes.  There are, however, still a lot of boxes with a LOT of things that need to be sorted and places found for.  All of which means "time" to go through, memories to think of and decisions to make.  Like I've said before...... you have to laugh or you will​ start screaming (crying?)!!

It has been an interesting week!  My sister, and I, just took a car FULL of stuff to my son.  (That is a whole different story - maybe next time.) This drive meant we were traveling for two days each way.  We have discovered we don't "do" 14 hour drives very well anymore!!  It also reminded of the times Dad and I traveled - a couple of times for a visit with my son.

​Traveling, with Dad, caused a few interesting difficulties.  For a while he could help with the driving but, toward the end, he was the navigator because he usually knew where we were going.  The real issues were working with the cane (or walker) and restroom doors.  They can be heavy but add in at least a cane and Dad couldn't always  open them.  Then I would be opening the door for him, wait at the door until he came back and "knocked" at which point I would open the door again.  IF we were lucky enough for a "family" restroom it was a LOT easier.  There were also a couple of times when I wanted to stop one of the gentlemen going in and ask for them to see if a "white haired gentleman" had fallen.

An interesting side note....  I was primary care giver for our Dad (different restrooms) but I have also spoken with Caregivers traveling with the "same sex" parent - daughters with mothers, sons with fathers - and many of the same difficulties arise. So many interesting traveling stories..... almost all of which include laughing before you start screaming (or crying!)!!