RAIN!! We are finally getting some rain! We didn't get very much snow, at least where I am, this year and we really need the rain. The problem is we are also getting a lot of wind with the rain. This can make getting outside, with "just" yourself, an interesting problem to fix. Just one person can have a raincoat or, if it isn't TOO windy, an umbrella.
This does NOT work if you are trying to take care of your "person" - especially if said person is using a cane or a walker. Or, as in the case of a toddler, in a stroller or being carried. I learned early, while my son was a toddler, that diaper bag, knitting bag, purse AND toddler required some adjustments. Then, when I was trying to keep Dad at least "only" damp, instead of soaking wet, I discovered the same idea would work. With the toddler, diaper bag, purse and (most of the time) knitting bag it worked best if I had on a poncho that would go over most - if not all - of what I was carrying. With Dad it was a total accident. We were on a cruise and the ship handed out ponchos, because of the rain, and it worked so well with the walker we just kept up the idea. Dad, poncho, and walker could go at his pace and still be relatively dry when we got to the door. If it was a short distance I would have the poncho and hold the umbrella for him - still keeping him dry. (AND the poncho kept the purse and the knitting bag dry!) Of course........with how windy it is today.......... good luck! I'm not sure anything will help......
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I have been blessed with a new prayer group. So far we "only meet monthly" but it is a wonderful group of fellow clergy women. It is actually a second group, to meet with, which gives at least two opportunities a month to be in prayer with others. When our schedules are as hectic as they are around holidays it is good to have people to be in prayer with. QUIET time, with God, in prayer is needed - however - daily as well. I find the time in my sewing room, able to s-t-o-p to be in prayer and listen for what God is saying to me.
I was blessed in another way..... Dad always understood my need to get to QUIET with God's Word, my praise music and my needlework. He would let me have those times whenever I needed to take them -- busy schedules, unexpected change in said schedule, unexpected phone calls or crazy weather playing havoc with said schedules. After driving in white out, snow and bad roads I NEEDED to have QUIET with my prayer shawl wrapped around me. Dad understood completely. However.... If I was sitting in my chair, usually next to him, with the TV going (even though I was paying NO attention to the TV) I was "fair game" to be interrupted. He would help with the counting, ask questions in the middle of the row or in any way possible 'mess up' what I was trying to do. Like I say.... you have to laugh or you will start screaming! Something to think about........ I recently saw a post on Facebook saying everyone needs a friend they shouldn't "sit next to" at a "serious" function. I totally agree! Someone who laughs with you at the strange things happening is always a good friend to have! I do have a few friends who would agree with me it can be hard to keep from laughing... or maybe even keeping a straight face.
The one that caused the biggest problem however was Dad. Right up until the very end Dad could get me into trouble when we were supposed to be serious. He would whisper a comment, make a wise crack or do any of a number of other things that would start us both giggling. I can distinctly remember Mom threatening to separate us on several occasions. She never did... but she probably should have! The problem was Dad, a retired Episcopal priest, would be wearing his clerical color - especially for "formal, serious" meetings or services. NO ONE ever thought he was the one who started it! Of course that meant they all thought I was the one who started it!!! Like I say.... you have to laugh or you will start screaming! Remember those times....laugh again.... something to think about..... How are you at waiting? How long does it take before you are checking your watch every minute or so? Can you sit still while you are waiting? I know with today's phones it is easy to find SOMETHING to do while you wait - is that how you do it?
I was recently at a family gathering with a lot of people I didn't know but who knew our family. It was a long time of sitting, and waiting, for the next thing (lunch) on the agenda. I had brought my knitting, which is how I sit still, so I could people watch (a favorite waiting activity). There were two young people in the group - one seven and one in their early teens. They both found it VERY interesting that an "adult" couldn't sit still. It was kind of fun to watch their reactions. I would take my knitting when I had to wait with Dad too. No matter which doctor we were at it was usually "hurry up and wait." Sometimes it could be a l-o-n-g wait. It was a lot easier to have my knitting, and maybe a book to read, as we sat waiting for our turn. Another "trick" I used was to go park the car, then come find him. It took a while to figure out how to do that since most of his appointments were at the VA. Another interesting happening..... Walking into the waiting area and saying "Dad" got every man in the room to turn and look at me! Like I have said... you either laugh or you start screaming! How are you at sharing things? I know we are supposed to share with others but I also know it depends on what it is to be shared - right? In our house, growing up, if it was food - one person "cut" it and the other person got first pick. Supposedly it kept things more even with the cut. Clothes were also something we shared. I remember being fine with hand me downs, even hand me overs (from my brothers), but the hand me ups (from a younger sister) bothered me.
I'm wondering, now, about sharing experiences and the stories of said experiences. Who do you share those with? When do you share them? Is it to encourage - like I'm hoping these posts do? Can you share with someone else about these posts? Maybe even the website? Can you share with someone about God's strength when you needed it? Can you help someone to laugh? I saw someone, at a store, recently who was obviously the primary care giver for a parent. I tried to encourage them - letting them know I have "walked in their shoes." I frequently tried to share Dad. I would offer him to ride with someone so he could help with their driving and getting somewhere. I would also offer him to someone who might "need" a Dad. There were times I even offered to use the "Ransome of Red Chief" idea. Have you thought about sharing this way? Sometimes you have to laugh or you will start screaming! Something to think about...... I'm sure you have noticed, the same as I have, that families are living further apart than we used to. I can remember, growing up, everyone gathering - at our grandparents - for Sunday dinner, special occasions, Christmas and Easter. Now our family lives all over this state (Minnesota), Texas, Wisconsin and Ohio. This makes seeing each other, let alone gathering together, much more difficult. It also makes sharing the memories more fun and funny.
Several of us were recently together to celebrate the life of a beloved family member. We all got to talking about memories and had some great laughter about how "dark and scary" a basement was, how BIG a dining room was and who got to sit at the "grownup"table. Especially when the description of what the basement and dining room were actually like was given. We all got a good laugh because we all remembered it the same way and were surprised by the reality. Then there was the difficulty of keeping up with all the various tech pieces. A watch got left here, a phone there, car keys over there and an iPad somewhere else. Most were found and able to travel when they should. Several will be arriving, in the mail, this week. AND all of these things will make for wonderful memories to share the next time we are all able to be around the same table again. Like I say...... you need to laugh or you will start screaming!! Working on the devotional, for Ash Wednesday on the website (click on the Devotional link), got me to thinking about my memoires of the day - and of the traditions going with the day. For instance we always "fasted," or gave up, something for Lent. I'm pretty sure it was different things at different times but I do remember giving up both chocolate and "pop" for the 6 weeks. I would then put the money I "saved" into an offering box for the children's ministry.
One Ash Wednesday stands out more, however, because of what was added. I left for school as one of seven kids. I got home from school and was the oldest of 14 ranging in age from 14 months to me at 14 years old. I remember supper that night was a little hectic. Mom couldn't figure out how to have 16 people sit down at one time so we ate in shifts. Then there was the added problem of getting us all to the Ash Wednesday service because (you guessed it!) Dad was leading the service. I know we took two cars - one a van, probably with at least 8 in it, and "Mom's" car with the rest. Yes, the car seat, for the 14 month old, would have been used I just don't remember which car it was in. So....... see! Your Ash Wednesday just got a lot easier! AND you can remember we are able to laugh even if it is only "looking back and remembering." "I love technology. I love technology. I love technology!"
I have a tendency to remind myself, and others, of this when having difficulties with said technology. I have also offered to throw the technology out the window saying I would replace the window. One of the people I was reminding about loving technology, this week, pointed out to me a "hammer works better." Technology can definitely be frustrating!! Then there are also the good things..... Dad used the computer a lot. He was doing more with the computer than I was and for a lot longer. He was trying to do a blog 15 years ago. The problem I would have was when he had a problem he would expect me to "fix it." I would always suggest he call his grandson to help. Thankfully we still have a lot of the work he did, on the computer, saved on "jump drives" so we can get to his writings and his family tree research. Wonderful memories to have, even using the technology, when we can remember (find?) where we "saved" said jump drives. It also helps to have someone who knows how to use the technology easily available. I say again....... sometimes it is better to laugh...or you will start screaming! Yesterday's Scripture was Jesus going to a "quiet place" to pray. (Mark 1:35) So I was pointing out, in the Devotional blog and at the churches I serve, the need to be able to s-t-o-p and find a quiet place to be in prayer. The need we ALL have to keep our relationship with God strong so we can continue to reach out and help each other. It also gave several of us an opening for remembering someone's quiet place. Like Susanna Wesley sitting down and pulling her apron up over her head. ALL of the kids knew to be QUIET and leave her alone.
I also remembered Dad telling me about driving to the local cemetery, pulling into it and parking the car. This was well before cell phones were even thought of let alone in use. It gave him a quiet, peaceful (and beautiful!) place to think through his sermon or whatever else he was working on. I also learned, from my sister, how Dad would take the rowboat out from our grandparent's cabin. He would go far enough out you couldn't "talk" to him. IF we needed him we would have to wave our arms from the shoreline. He would have his portable typewriter and paper with him so he could work in the QUIET. So......... where do you go for QUIET? Which commercial do you think of when I mention "commercials"? Do you think of one you see all the time now? One from several years ago? One from quite a while ago -- like how to "spell b-o-l-o-g-n-a" OR "let Mickey have it - he eats anything!"? There are probably several ad executives who are feeling pretty good about now.
There is a relatively new one that has caught my attention: "How are YOU doing?" I apologize because I don't remember which health care facility is doing the advertising but the commercial is to encourage getting a physical and updating vaccinations. I totally agree with the idea - especially as Caregivers. I have been known to remind the primary Caregiver of the need for self care. After all if the Caregiver isn't also taking care of the Caregiver who will take care of the receiver when something happens to the Caregiver? What I want you to think about now, however, is definitely the need for self care but please include Spiritual care with the physical and emotional care. Take the time to s-t-o-p to rest and re-create while you spend time with God. It may only be a "few minutes" but it allows you to feel God's presence giving strength and guidance. Something to think about....... |
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